Stefan Niggemeier

Schlagwort: The Onion

Die schrecklichen Folgen des Obama-Sieges


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Andererseits …

… ebenfalls von den grandiosen Leuten von „The Onion“:

Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress

(…) Carrying a majority of the popular vote, Obama did especially well among women and young voters, who polls showed were particularly sensitive to the current climate of everything being fucked. Another contributing factor to Obama’s victory, political experts said, may have been the growing number of Americans who, faced with the complete collapse of their country, were at last able to abandon their preconceptions and cast their vote for a progressive African-American.

Citizens with eyes, ears, and the ability to wake up and realize what truly matters in the end are also believed to have played a crucial role in Tuesday’s election. (…)

As we enter a new era of equality for all people, the election of Barack Obama will decidedly be a milestone in U.S. history, undeniable proof that Americans, when pushed to the very brink, are willing to look past outward appearances and judge a person by the quality of his character and strength of his record. So as long as that person is not a woman.

Von wegen Witzemacher

Vermutlich muss man sich ernstlich Sorgen machen um eine Gesellschaft und eine Medienwelt, in der Komiker und Satiriker nicht nur ungefähr die einzigen sind, die noch die Wahrheit sagen, sondern auch die einzigen, die überhaupt erkennen, worum es geht bei einer Diskussion. Andererseits: In Deutschland wüsste ich nicht einmal, wer diese Komiker und Satiriker wären.

Dazu passt, dass „New York Times“-Kolumnist Paul Krugman neulich feststellte, dass wir im Jahre 8 der „Onion“-Ära leben: dem Zeitalter, in dem Artikel des grandiosen amerikanischen Satiremediums „The Onion“ fortwährend zutreffender waren als das, was „ernste“ Zeitungen berichteten.

Am 17. Januar 2001 (!) spann „The Onion“:

WASHINGTON, DC – Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that „our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.“ (…)

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

„You better believe we’re going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration,“ said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. „Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?“

Aktuell lautet eine „Onion“-Schlagzeile:

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In